Teens can often be reserved, preferring to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves. This is why active listening is such an invaluable skill when speaking to an adolescent. With some practice, it can significantly improve the quality of your conversations.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening demonstrates to your teen that you are fully engaged in the conversation. It involves not just hearing your teen’s words, but showing you understand the meaning behind them. Key aspects include:
- Maintain eye contact and face your teen to show you’re fully engaged and giving them your complete attention.
- Using open body language like nodding and leaning in slightly to encourage them to open up.
- Paraphrasing what your teen says to confirm you comprehend it. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything on your plate right now.”
- Asking thoughtful follow up questions to draw them out more. Like “What do you think would help lighten your load a bit?”
- Avoiding interrupting or jumping in with immediate advice. Allow them to fully express themselves before you respond.
The Benefits of Active Listening
Utilising these active listening techniques has many advantages for parents and foster carers working with an agency like Foster Care Associates:
- Your teen will feel genuinely listened to and understood. This creates an environment where they feel comfortable confiding in you.
- It demonstrates respect for your teen’s perspective. They’re more likely to be open to your input once they feel truly heard.
- It helps diffuse tension. Many parent-teen arguments stem from misunderstandings that active listening can alleviate.
- You gain crucial insights into your teen’s inner world, allowing you to better provide guidance and support.
Putting Active Listening into Practice
Like any skill, active listening requires patience and effort to develop. Some tips:
- When your teen is speaking, consciously focus all your energy on comprehending what they are conveying without forming a response.
- Start by paraphrasing back what you heard and ask if you understood correctly. For example, “It seems like you feel pretty stressed about this upcoming exam. Is that right?”
- Be aware of your body language and maintain open, relaxed posture. Nod periodically and make eye contact.
- Don’t rush to fill pauses. Give your teen time to gather their thoughts. The most meaningful information is often conveyed after some silence.
With regular practice, active listening can profoundly deepen the connection between you and your adolescent.
It paves the way for more substantial conversations that will serve your relationship well, both now and in the future.
To become truly adept at active listening takes time. Try utilising the techniques in every conversation with your teen, not just during serious or tense moments.
The more regularly you practice, the more natural active listening will become. You’ll notice your teen opening up more frequently when they realise you are deeply invested in what they have to say.
Don’t become discouraged if progress feels slow at first. Teens are often distrustful of parental motives and may test your sincerity.
Consistency and patience are key. Over time, the benefits of improved mutual understanding and stronger bonding will make the effort well worthwhile.